I've been putting off writing this entry because it's so much easier to just post up pictures and write rubbish to go along with it. However, I can't in good conscience not write about transportation in Hong Kong.
There's nothing to fear, Hong Kong has arguably the best transportation system in the world. It's cheap, efficient and safe. Once you've enjoyed it, you'll be so spoiled that every other primitive transportation system, like the ones in North America, will cause depression.
Let's start at the airport. I used to edit books, and one of them was on Hong Kong architecture, which means I know a lot of useless trivia about the airport, which was designed by Norman Foster (who also did the HSBC headquarters, another building with some great gossip). For example, the roof of the airport can be seen from space. It's the only airport in the world with its own internal railroad. The amount of natural light coming in from the glass windows means that it's also one of the most environmentally-friendly airports ever.
In my opinion, it's the best airport in the world. Despite the high traffic it sees everyday, it never feels crowded or disgusting. You can rent little rooms to sleep in if you've got a layover, and there are masseuses wandering around to help you. There's free phones as soon as you exit customs, as well.
The airport has a really good bus system -- I was surprised to find out that one route actually stops just fifteen minutes from my flat -- but if you're visiting Hong Kong for the first time, I suggest that you take the Airport Express. You can buy a roundtrip ticket at the airport or use an Octopus card to pay (I'll discuss the Octopus more later). Among its stops, the Airport Express will take you to Kowloon and Hong Kong stations. The Airport Express Hong Kong Station is linked to Central MTR Station, Kowloon Station is just a pain in the ass because it's not linked to any of the more useful MTR Stations. However, it does have a fancy mall where you can go ice skating.
Anyway, there are free shuttle buses at Hong Kong and Kowloon Stations that will take you to your hotel (or nearby). The list of hotels and bus routes is very prominently displayed and in English and traditional Chinese.
Using the Airport Express entitles you to do early check-in. Some airlines allow you to check in up to seven hours before your flight, so it's really convenient if you want to squeeze in a last-minute meal or shopping excursion. If you miss out on early check-in or if your airline doesn't do it, you can follow what I do. I tend to cut it really close when I check in the airport. The Airport Express takes about 24 minutes from Hong Kong Station. Say that you wait on the platform for 10 minutes, so the whole journey is about 35 minutes. A quick walk to the check-in desks should be about 5 minutes at the most (including looking for your airline). That's 40 minutes. Most desks will close 50 minutes before departure. So basically, what I do is try to time everything so that I arrive 5 minutes before the desk closes.
Now, for getting around the city. Your best bet, if you don't speak Cantonese and can't read Chinese, is to take the MTR. The MTR is our subway, and it's the cleanest, safest and most efficient subway system in the world.
Hong Kong is divided into three sections: Hong Kong island, Kowloon peninsula and the New Territories, which is pretty much in the mainland. The MTR services all of these areas, and there are handy maps that point out hotels, tourist attractions and government buildings and schools in most MTR stations.
You can pay as you go on the MTR, which means buying a ticket for each journey from one of the ticket dispensers. It's not the same price for each journey, and once you've entered the paid area of the MTR, even if you exit through the same station, you'll still have to pay a little bit (I think it's about HKD2 or HKD3). Some machines will give you change from bills, so watch out for those if you don't have any coins on you. You can also use an Octopus card to pay.
The turnstiles only accept tickets or Octopus cards. You slide the ticket into the slot on the turnstile -- on your right, by the way. Just follow the gigantic arrows, which, for some reason, many tourists seem to ignore -- and don't forget to take it when it comes out the other end.
Important MTR information:
1) DO NOT EAT OR DRINK ON THE MTR AND IN THE PAID AREAS OF THE MTR STATIONS. Dudes, Hong Kong people are really law-abiding, and we don't do that bullshit on the MTR because we want to keep our stations clean and free of rats and cockroaches. You're enjoying the fruit of our responsibility, so please have the fucking decency to also keep the MTR clean.
I don't care how fucking hungry you are, I will give you the side-eye and rat you out to the MTR staff if I see you eating or drinking. The penalty is something like HKD2,000, and I will laugh as they take that money from you. Yes, it's true that a few locals also break these rules, tsk on those motherfuckers. You're welcome to tsk them, as well.
2) There are panic buttons in the train (I forget exactly where) and along the platforms. If you feel sick or if someone has tried to molest you, pressing the panic button gets you either a cop or an MTR employee within five minutes or less.
3) I will admit that there is occasionally a courtesy problem in the trains, with some people not having the decency to move aside when you need to exit. Just say "Excuse me" really loudly and push yourself out. If they're rude, you can be rude, too, in my opinion. But then, I'm a shover when I get irritated.
4) If you want to kill yourself, you won't be able to do it on the MTR lines in Hong Kong and Kowloon, as there are safety doors installed there. You'll have to go to the New Territories if you want to suicide by train.
5) Please, please don't buy shit from illegal vendors in the stations. Please don't give money to the beggars there. You can do that outside. Encouraging them to linger in the station is dangerous, especially if they're there during rush hour.
6) There is a Hang Seng Bank in every MTR station, as well as a 7-11.
7) If you have a large suitcase, for fuck's sake, please take the Goddamn elevator and don't clog up the escalators!
8) Mong Kok, Jordan and Yau Ma Tei Stations smell like vomit. It's been like that since I was a kid, I have no idea why.
9) MTR stations do not run for 24 hours. The last trains are usually around half past midnight. A cute piece of trivia: after the last train for passengers, the trains go around the tracks one more time to bring home ghosts. Isn't that so thoughtful? I heard that there are also ghost buses that do the same thing, but no one has confirmed that with me.
And a very important escalator tip: STAND ON THE RIGHT, WALK ON THE LEFT! Don't stand on the left side of the escalator like a retard. People will start grumbling behind you, or, if you're unlucky enough to have someone like me there, you'll get a huge sigh and "TSK" and then be asked to move your ass aside. If you don't move, I will shove you, and the cops will be on my side, so don't even try to sass me. This goes for escalators everywhere, by the way.
Aside from the MTR, the buses are super great. I'm kind of hesitant to recommend them to tourists unless you already know the route number or are really adventurous. You can check out the Web sites of our two bus lines here: KMB and Citybus. They're really useful and show you alternate routes, a map that includes street-level photos of the stops.
Bus information and tips:
1) Technically, you're not allowed to eat or drink on the buses, but no one really cares (including me).
2) Buses accept Octopus cards and change. You must have exact change. I've asked fellow passengers to break bills for me, and I've always gotten a few nice people who've helped me out. Mr. Singh, I'll always remember you fondly for giving me HKD2 and not wanting the lollipop I found in my bag in return. It was a fancy Chupa Chup, too.
3) Personally, I like to sit on the second floor of the bus, right at the very front. It's quite exciting because bus drivers like to drive up close to cars and buses. Plus, you can take nice pictures.
4) If you have luggage or anything large with you, for God's sake, just leave it at the space for wheelchairs (assuming there isn't a wheelchair there). Don't fucking leave it in the aisle! There was this horrible expat woman who had this giant suitcase right in the middle of the aisle once, and I got so irritated seeing crippled grannies trying to climb over the suitcase that I yelled at her to move that shit aside. I realize I'm coming off as an obnoxious, aggressive busybody, and, yes, I am one.
5) Lost items: this also applies to the MTR, by the way. Hong Kong people are generally honest, and if you lose something on the bus or MTR, chances are that someone will turn it in to the staff. I dropped my wallet on the bus once, and I got it back with everything inside in three days. I tried to give a thank-you card to the bus driver, but the KMB people wouldn't let me because it's considered "bribery." So cute, no? So I just anonymously mailed it to the KMB office. Hope they forwarded it to him.
This is the KMB hotline, it's 24 hours: 2329 8508. Citybus: 2873 0818.
Okay, now for minibuses. This is some hardcore stuff, even I get intimidated sometimes, and if you can't speak Cantonese, I really don't think you should attempt it unless you kind of know where you're going and what it looks like.
Minibuses technically have stops, but you can get off along the way at any point. Aish, there's no point in even explaining, except that you pay as you get on, and the driver will give you change if necessary. They also accept Octopus cards.
Now, what is this Octopus card that I keep talking about? It's a true marvel and a sign of our advanced civilization. It's basically a smart card that stores cash value. Anyone staying in Hong Kong for more than a couple of days really ought to get one. You pay HKD50 for the card -- this is refundable when you return the card. You won't be able to use that HKD50 so you'll have to top up in increments of HKD50. That initial HKD50 is like a buffer because even if you only have HKD1 left in available credit, you can still use up to HKD35 for one purchase (ie. you'll go negative value on the card). If you're at 0, you can't go negative. Did that make sense?
Anyway, the Octopus is accepted on all types of transportation, at all supermarkets and convenience stores, at most fast food restaurants and many other places. You can add value to it at any convenience store or at any MTR station. You can also link it to your credit card, but if you're just visiting, there's kind of no point.
It's amazingly convenient and brilliant. The card is scanned, rather than inserted into anything, and the scanners are strong enough that you don't have to take the card out of your wallet or bag.
There is something called the Octopus Airport Express Pass, and it's something like HKD300 and you get "unlimited travel" for three days. Honestly, I don't think it's worth it unless you plan on taking the MTR every other hour. Just get an Airport Express ticket and an Octopus separately. The Octopus is refundable anyway, so it's not a big deal.
Finally, taxis. They're super cheap, meters start at HKD18. Now, something that you should know: taxis usually will only take you around the area you're in, ie. Hong Kong island only, Kowloon only or New Territories only. If you want to cross the harbour to a different area, you have to take a special taxi. These ones have a red plastic sign on their dashboard to indicate that they are willing to go where normal taxis won't.
If you forget your stuff in the taxi, you can call 1872920 to get the dispatchers to send out a message. One thing you should always do when you take a taxi is read and remember the name of the taxi driver. His identification should be prominently displayed on the dashboard, and it will help you a lot if you do leave anything behind. As long as the next passenger hasn't stolen your stuff, taxi drivers will always return them.
Whew, okay, I'm tired and this should be enough basic information for getting around. If I think of anything else, I'll write another entry.
