Rich Doors

I lived in a village in Taiwan, so I'm not romantic or nostalgic about villages at all. It's a pain in the ass -- literally -- when everyone knows you. I remember whenever we were caught doing something naughty, the adult who did the catching would spank the hell out of us, then transfer us to our nearest relative, who would also spank the hell out of us, and then we would be transferred from relative to relative until we reached our parents, who would administer the final blows. By that time, you'd have to eat dinner standing up.

It was totally possible to be spanked five times in one day for doing something completely harmless, like tying your baby brother to a pig's back and then letting the pig run off. You know, pigs don't run very far, and my brother enjoyed the experience. He was laughing and errthang. Hell, I wish someone could have done that to me when I was little, I would have loved to see what it's like to ride a pig.

Anyway, I have friends in Hong Kong who still live in villages, and one of the things I have to warn you about when you visit a village is to beware of dog poo. There are a lot of stray dogs in the villages, and they shamelessly mine the area with their poo bombs. It's like an obstacle course of poo made worse by people who accidentally step on poo and then spend the next couple of metres trying to scrape the poo off on the sidewalk, hence spreading even more poo everywhere.

How can you step on dog poo?? It's RIGHT THERE, not to mention it stinks! Don't people pay attention?

Another thing to watch out for is during the rainy season when the little frogs come out in plague-like numbers. It's really disgusting and disturbing because they carpet the ground so much that you can't help but step on them and squish them to death. I try to kind of brush them aside as I walk but it takes forever to get through.

Anyway, most people mistakenly assume that Hong Kong is so urban, but there is a lot of countryside still here, you know?

Sometimes the sky is so beautiful, it makes me want to hurt someone.

Faces are Changing, Yuppies Invading, Nightlife is Raging

My old flat in Soho looked a lot like these buildings. Maybe even worse. Anyway, the entire building where I used to live is up for sale now, so it'll be gentrified by expats soon, like everything else in that unfortunate neighbourhood. Yeah, I should really stop writing about it because change is inevitable, even when it's for the worse.

I'm just so worried that where I live right now might also be gentrified. I'll be really sad when the coffin makers, the funeral parlour, the funeral accessories shop and the wholesale Chinese medicine people leave. Tsk.

Anyway, whenever you see a doorway like this open, it probably means that there's a business on the first floor. Most of the time, they're wholesaling boring shit like garden pots, but once in a while, you'll stumble upon people selling cute stuff like handmade brocade bags, although that's getting very rare nowadays.

If you do enter one of these buildings, remember that you shouldn't venture past the first floor because the rest of the floors are most likely private residences, and you shouldn't be a rude asshole. When I was living in my old flat, people would fucking come and invade the building all the time. I lived on the top floor and spent a lot of time on my roof until tourists started hanging out there, the nerve!

My German neighbour used to call the cops on them, and we would discuss ways in which to lay booby traps. Once, a group of French people even had a fucking picnic on my roof at night! They wouldn't leave so I had to call the cops and say that there were foreigners doing drugs on my roof. Of course, the police took them away.

This doorway actually smelled like pee so I didn't linger.

Retarded Urban Legends

Some of you may be aware of a fake text supposedly from the BBC warning people about radiation. I was embarrassed to see that it had originated from the Philippines.

This is the fake text in full:

Japan Government confirms radiation leak at Fukushima nuclear plants. Asian countries should take necessary precautions. If rain comes, remain indoors first 24 hours. Close doors and windows. Swab neck skin with betadine where thyroid area is, radiation hits thyroid first. Take extra precautions. Radiation may hit Philippine at around 4 pm today. If it rains today or in the next few days in Hong Kong. Do not go under the rain. If you get caught out, use an umbrella or raincoat, even if it is only a drizzle. Radioactive particles, which may cause burns, alopecia or even cancer, may be in the rain.

The fact that people actually believe this just shows me that most people are stupid and don't know anything about science.

Also, there's some kind of retarded mass e-mail circulating about gangs of men going around raping women in Hong Kong. DL forwarded me the e-mail, and it's the stupidest shit you've ever read. The original writer said that it happened to "a friend of an acquaintance." OH REALLY. Are you sure it's not the niece of your roommate's friend's classmate's neighbour's son?

The first e-mail says that the attack happened on Caine Road off the escalators at around 930 in the evening. There must be some kind of alternate reality going on because there's a fucking Starbucks and Cafe O right there that's busy till midnight, not to mention a fucking BUS STOP that regularly drops off groups of people who live in the Mid-levels and a fucking CHURCH. So you're telling me at least a hundred people witnessed a gang rape and didn't do a single thing? I call ducktales.

Of course, people started amending the story once it started circulating and they realized there were holes in it. Suddenly, it was somewhere else, and guess what, the girl didn't ACTUALLY get raped, she managed to escape from a bunch of men. What, did her vagina release a stinkbomb that knocked those guys out so they couldn't chase her? Seriously, if a bunch of guys want to gang rape you, unless you're in a fucking movie, you're not going to be able to get away.

And not just that, but instead of reporting the incident to the Hong Kong police -- one of the most efficient and least corrupt police forces in the fucking world -- that chick thought it would be better to tell her friend so that they could send a fucking MASS E-MAIL??

Seriously, if you believe that e-mail about a gang rape happening in one of the most patrolled areas of Hong Kong, you're a retard. You ought to be sent to Fukushima to deal with the nuclear issue there instead of the Fukushima 50 because your IQ is so low, you might as well die from radiation poisoning and the world will be better off. Not to mention, you probably have some issues about racism that you need to deal with. It doesn't surprise me that the e-mail is being circulated among expats and ABCs, and that the supposed rapists are Filipino or Nepalese. I'm sure anyone with even a little bit of sense can see the class and race issues at play here. Not to mention, it also disparages the ability of the Hong Kong police force to protect its citizens, and honestly, they have a good fucking record of doing their jobs well.

I'm trying to be a compassionate Buddhist here, but people who try to get attention by spreading panic really bug me. It's hard enough for real victims of sexual assault, you have stupid bitches making fucked up claims.

Now that that's been cleared up, enjoy the entry below.

*UPDATE: More information showing just how racist and stupid people are over here.

Mixin' Up the Medicine

I don't miss smoking at all. I think I'm pretty lucky in that most of my friends don't smoke (I hang out with women and gay men who are either really vain or health-conscious). And I was never really such a huge smoker because I wasn't addicted to nicotine. It was more of a boredom issue, having something to do during the downtime in between working hours. So once my life got sorted out, and I had things to do, I just stopped and never really looked back.

Also, I really hate the smell of cigarettes on my body and my clothes. It's part of the reason I don't like going out to clubs.

Anyway, for the smokers visiting Hong Kong, you absolutely cannot smoke in parks, tourist spots like the Peak, indoor areas of most restaurants and bars, escalators (yes, even the outdoor ones, otherwise, you'll see me calling the police on you), lifts, schools and inside office buildings.

Yeah, Mami, You Miss Me, Don't You?

Ugh, I got in at 2 in the morning on Saturday and still had to take my sorry ass to work at 8 despite going to bed at 4. And then I had to pick up poor Chabi, who was so pissed/happy when she saw me. The lady at the cattery said that she hardly ate anything and spent most of her time glaring at everyone. Chabi has lost quite a bit of weight, so I'll have to fatten her up.

So this is just a long explanation for why this is kind of a random, scattered entry. Not that it matters, I guess. I mean, you're obviously not here for the scintillating writing with the kind of exquisite grammar that would make E.B. White award me the "E" in his name for "Excellent."

Alright, I pretty much figured out that God (I'm not Christian, by the way) really wanted me to go on my trip. First of all, I discovered that the Airport Cityflyer bus stop is only five minutes away from my flat rather than the fifteen minutes that I previously thought. Because of that, I took my sweet time heading over to the stop (instead of the usual high-strung rush to get a taxi to take the Airport Express), only to have the bus pull out and leave me behind.

A note: two types of buses will get you to and from the airport. The A buses, which are strictly airport buses, and the E buses, which take you around the island where the airport is. The E buses are cheaper than the A ones, but they take FOREVER because the bus stops for everyone and their auntie. Also, the E buses don't stop outside the main entrance of the terminals, they take you to some underground parking dungeon where you have to take a lift to the main floors.

The A buses are really quick. They're not as fast as the Airport Express, but they are a LOT cheaper. Plus, you get to take some nice pictures like this:

There is also the N bus, which is the after-hours bus. Since the Airport Express doesn't run for 24 hours, if your flight arrives past 11 at night and you don't want to splurge on a taxi, you can just take any of the N buses (they are basically the night versions of the A buses). Here's more information about the buses and their respective routes.

Anyway, to return to God's plan for me, I was tsk-ing the bus for not waiting for me, and I decided to take my passport and documents out of my bag to check my flight time. At which point, I found out that I had forgotten my passport (this is the first time this has ever happened, I blame it on my torrential period). If I had managed to get on the bus, I would have been on my way to the airport without a passport!

So I trekked back to the flat, grabbed my passport and a drink (no flight is complete without a little firewater), and just as I got back to the stop, another A bus pulled up.

At the airport, I discovered a very important thing: there is now a 7-11 on the Arrivals floor. Also, I noticed that the Popeye's on the Departure floor was already open. I've never eaten at Popeye's before, but I'd always been curious about it ever since Clipse convinced me of its baller status. Alas, there was no CL (whatever that is, I really don't know shit about cars) around to help me complete my flossing.

This video never fails to make me hungry and want to lick my fingers.


I wasn't hungry, so I decided on a biscuit. It looked really good, and while I was unwrapping it, I noticed a little mainlander kid staring at me enviously, so I did a little premature My Girlfriend is a Gumiho dance of "This shit is gonna be GOOD. You mad, kid? Yeah, you stay mad right thurr."

Taken from here

But God didn't approve of my showing off, and I ended up dropping the biscuit mid-dance without even having taken a bite.

You know what, though? My Buddhist beliefs allowed me to humbly take the loss, and I went back for another biscuit, and the staff, after laughing their asses off, took pity on me and gave me extra packets of honey.

Verdict: tiny and a bit expensive at HKD7 for a single biscuit, but tastes pretty damn good. Clipse was right. So, after all that sugar, I ended up falling asleep and missing out on the boarding call, but a really stressed-out staffer managed to wake me up in time and I got on the flight.

See? God really wanted me to learn humility and get on the plane.

Anyway, some really terrible things came up during my trip that I was expecting to happen, and I'll leave it at that. Still, I managed to capture this picture on Thursday evening. Kind of reminds you that something beautiful always shows up every day if you just pay attention.

Random Useful Information

This is just a bunch of random stuff that most people might not know about Hong Kong.

1) Our emergency line is 999. Operators speak Cantonese, Mandarin and English. You can also call 999 to report noisy or annoying neighbours and drinking establishments. God knows, I've done that enough times.

2) You can't smoke in parks and in most indoor places. There are rougher areas where the uncles and neighbourhood toughs still continue to smoke inside restaurants, but I consider them part of the ambience.

3) The following are open for 24 hours: some McDonald's branches, Tsui Wah restaurants (well, they clean up between 4am to 6am, but if you look at them pleadingly, they often let you stay), the cinema in Chinachem Golden Plaza in Tsim Sha Tsui East (Mody Road, next to the famous hostess bar, Club B Boss). Most parks are technically closed at 10 pm, but the walls are easy to scale.

4) The airconditioning is intense here in all weathers. It's often colder inside than outside. Because of that, you might want to bring a scarf or an extra shirt in summer if you plan to stay indoors most of the time.

5) Summer is the worst time to come to Hong Kong. It's humid and soul-destroyingly hot. It's bad here because you have to walk if you're a tourist or poor like me and that exposes you to the horrific heat. Also, things get mouldy fast in summer, so keep a close eye on your leather goods.

6) It may surprise people that it does get quite cold here in winter because everything has been built for the heat, and most establishments don't use heaters. Also, some places continue to blast the airconditioning, who knows why. Chinese restaurants are the worst for that, you see poor old people getting hypothermia and falling asleep in the middle of a chew. Tsk.

7) Littering isn't as common here as it used to be some time ago, thanks to government efforts. Don't do it.

8) Hong Kong Post: a wonderfully efficient and reliable service that you can avail of, especially if you've bought too many things and need to post them home. Postage rates are quite low, definitely cheaper than paying for extra baggage on a plane. For incoming packages, if you get hyphy like me from waiting, you can call the Mail Tracing Office at 2921 2211 as long as you have some kind of tracking number.

9) Sales happen in summer and winter. If you're looking to buy winter/spring clothing, the summer sales are the best for you (although you can also pick up clothing from other seasons) and vice versa. The tail end of the sales are the best times to pick up some crazy bargains. The tail end of the sale season is now changing, thanks to the influx of mainland tourists. Most shops try to adjust their sale periods, especially over the Lunar New Year holidays, so winter sales are a bit iffy. Safe to say that you'll still find some cheap items during the end of January or beginning of February. For summer sales, you'll get the best bargains mid-to-late August.

Tail-end is the best if you're not desperate for a particular item but just want to see if you can pick up something for a very low price. Most of the popular stuff will have already been gone (or sent to the outlet shops, which I don't even know if I should post about since everyone seems to know about them), but you are patient and have a good eye, you will find something. For example, I have a Costume National skirt that I paid something ridiculous (like HKD200) for. Of course, it's so short that I can't even bow without exposing the horror, but I still love it.

10) Speaking of short skirts, we don't have a lot of perverts here (at least, they keep it on the down low), but the MTR will scare the shit out of you with their constant warnings about cellphone camera perverts. The truth is, it's so safe here that a couple of incidents immediately constitute a crime wave. Still, be on guard in case someone stands too close to you. Hong Kong people tend to respect personal space, so unless you're on a really crowded train, you might want to be careful.

If you suspect someone has been illicitly videotaping an upskirt, I suggest taking a picture of the pervert yourself, then screaming or making a fuss. If you are bold, you can grab the dude. There are always gentlemen in the crowd who will be glad for an excuse to release some tension by beating up a pervert. My friend told me that in her case, a stranger chased the pervert down all the way outside the MTR and caught him.

11) Pre-paid SIM cards: You can buy pre-paid SIM cards to use while in Hong Kong. Note that we, like the rest of the normal world (excluding those snobs in Japan and Korea and those primitives in the US), use a GSM system. Dualband PCS/GSM phones will definitely work here. As of this entry, the most popular pre-paid card is by one2free. You can click here for more information, or if you don't really care about the technical details, just head over to 7-11 and buy one. It costs HKD48.

12) When asking for directions, always ask schoolgirls. Look for the ones who wear white socks, I'm serious about this. They are the ones who are the most helpful and will speak the most languages. Also look for any kids in Scouts uniforms. Finally, you can ask the cops, and they are super helpful and nice.

13) Regarding police searches: Hong Kong police have the right to do random body searches on people. If you're white, lucky you, unless you behave in a retarded or suspicious manner, you'll be left alone. For the rest of us, this is how it goes: first, you'll be asked to present identification. Depending on what they suspect you for, you'll be asked to show the contents of your bag(s) and pocket(s). I've been asked to put my hands on my head while getting patted down, but then, I was in a dodgy area and had my tattoos out, so I don't really blame them. Most people are just patted down normally. The police will do this in full view of everyone, which I don't really mind because it kind of makes you feel like some serious gangster. You'll also be asked a few questions. If they're not happy with your answers, you'll be asked to take a trip to the police station, but on the plus side, you get a sandwich (ham and egg) and a cup of milk tea.

14) Before I got my Hong Kong ID, I never carried around my passport, but if you're a tourist, make sure you carry some kind of identification (eg. driver's license) and a card with your hotel information on it. This is mostly just in case you get drunk and have to show a taxi driver where you're staying.

15) Matters of common courtesy: you would think people would have the sense not to be retarded, but I guess a lot of people weren't brought up right.

First off, when taking photographs, be mindful of your surroundings. Are you blocking a path? Are you in the way of something? Most Hong Kong people are polite and will either walk around you or patiently wait until you're done. Don't fucking abuse this, and apologize or say thank you. Of course, you'll sometimes get the OG uncle who doesn't give a fuck and will walk right into your shot.

Also, earlier today on the MTR, I was unfortunate enough to witness a young mainlander lady who was doing poledance moves while being photographed by her mother, of all people. For God's sake, those poles are not meant to be touched by a coochie! Blech! They also left behind trash, TSK.

I must repeat this once more: on the escalators, stand on the right, walk on the left.

When receiving or giving objects, you must use both hands. It's really disrespectful to use just one hand, although we've become immunized to rude tourists and foreigners to a certain degree.

For fuck's sake, if you say "What is THAT?" during a meal, I will feel a shift in the Force and send you a mental slap. That is just rude.

Don't eat unless everyone is served. If you are the last one to get your food, you should say, "Please go ahead and don't wait for me" so that others will be at ease. If someone tells you that, then you have permission to eat. However, I still usually wait because I'm a fucking lady.

Don't leave food in your bowl.

When someone offers you something, decline politely first, and then accept when they offer again. Some of my more well-bred friends wait until the third offer but I feel like it's inefficient and unnecessary.

We don't usually tip in Hong Kong because most places have a service charge, but I usually leave change behind. As far as I've been told, you shouldn't do that in authentic Thai restaurants, though.


Alright, that's it for now, I'll probably have more of this type of entry up as I go along.

Hong Kong Heritage Office Guidebook

Okay, okay, maybe it's cheating to just put up a link, but this is such a cute guidebook that I think it's worth an entry on its own. The Heritage Office has created a little guidebook that you can download here. It's really super, and it even has a section on haunted places in Hong Kong (they don't cover the more dangerous or controversial haunted places, but that's understandable). It turns out that I actually live next to one of them. Big surprise.

Anyway, enjoy!

Chinese New Year

Yesterday was the first day of Chinese New Year, but obviously, I didn't post anything related because I've been busy getting my drink on and eating. (By the way, I'm convinced that I have a tapeworm because I'm hungry all the time, and I'm losing weight despite chowing down. I've been inspecting my poo but so far, nothing has moved.) I just scheduled that Cafe MoMo thing and figured you guys would know why.

I've eaten at a couple of family meals, but I didn't feel like it would be appropriate to take photographs and publish them here, so instead, I'll write about things you should be doing during Chinese New Year.

This is going to be a kind of random list, by the way. And since I don't have family in Hong Kong, I won't be talking about who to visit and when in depth.

1) Before CNY: about a couple of weeks before, people will start doing hardcore housecleaning and putting up decorations. I don't really follow this because I clean my flat quite thoroughly at least once a week, anyway. Also, I have permanent CNY decorations up on my walls. Saves time!

2) During CNY: you technically shouldn't clean during CNY or throw out any trash because that means that you'll be throwing out good luck. This is a controversial statement, but I've been told that you shouldn't clean only on New Year's Eve (which, this year, was on the 2nd of February), and that it's perfectly fine to clean on any other days, especially if you receive visitors.

3) On New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, you should be wearing a new outfit. My family never really followed this because my parents were too frugal. However, we did wear new socks, so I guess one new item of clothing can be enough. What I do is I save one item of clothing that I will only start wearing at CNY. This year, it's that Daydream Nation skirt and a new pair of shoes.

New shoes so I could wear them in the house!

4) Red packets, also known as 紅包 (hong bao in Mandarin or ang bao in Hokkien) or 利事 (lai see in Cantonese), are given to unmarried people or kids. If you're married or older, you have to give them out. You cannot put coins in a hong bao! Usually, people put in USD1 bill or HKD10 bill (although you'll see more people put in USD1 because with our exchange rate, that means HKD7.78. Save money!). Depending on your age and status, you will also be required to give hong bao to people who perform services for you: helpers, babysitters, door men, cleaners, etc.

When giving or receiving hong bao, you have to bow and use both hands. I'll have an entry up pretty soon about this type of manners.

5) I don't really think CNY is a very good time to visit Hong Kong. Most shops will be closed, and the ones that are open will be staffed with people who don't really want to be there. It's like Italy all over again.

6) You'll be safe with greeting people "Happy new year!" There's more greetings, but that should get you through. If you're not Chinese, probably avoid the fist-clasp gesture because that thing takes practice to pull off. Otherwise, you'll look like Tom Cruise in Cocktail.

7) When visiting people's houses for CNY (or generally, whenever you vist people's houses), you must bring a gift. There is no other option unless you're really close friends and neither of you give a shit. I mean, how can you visit people's houses empty-handed?

The good thing about CNY is that there is an abundance of pre-packed gifts being sold everywhere. Most people will bring fruit (oranges or tangerines) or pastries. Personally, I don't like to give food that needs to be eaten quickly during CNY. Most people are already overloaded with food, so I think it's more thoughtful to bring something that they can regift to someone else.

This year, I'm all about these Japanese wafers that are really popular and in all the shops. The packaging is gorgeous, the box is a decent size, it's not ostentatiously expensive but it's not cheap, either. They don't have to be eaten right away, as well.

8) I should hope I wouldn't have to remind people of this, but take your Goddamn shoes off when you're in someone's house unless they specifically tell you it's okay to keep them on. When someone pulls this shit with me, I immediately ban them from my flat.

Anyway, so what does someone who doesn't feel like cooking and doesn't have a million relatives to mooch food off do? Most places are closed, and as I said, I don't really like to eat Western food (although there's a kind of solitary, Edward Hopper-esque pleasure out of eating at a McDonald's by your lonesome during CNY with the rest of the serial killers and shut-ins). But you know which Asian cuisine will always be available on CNY and will be delicious? INDIAN FOOD! So tomorrow's entry will be about my and DL's adventure in Kennedy Town looking for the best Indian restaurant on the Western tip of Hong Kong Island.

We ended up wandering about Kennedy Town (or should I say "waddling" because we were so full, we literally could not walk properly), and I told DL about the amazing Wellcome Superstore supermarket in the Belcher's.

Now, maybe we are just a couple of country bumpkins, but seriously the Wellcome in the Belcher's is the biggest and nicest supermarket I've ever been to in Hong Kong. And it's so fucking unfair that rich people have everything, including this.

The Belcher's is a fancy condo full of annoying people, but you know, the last laugh is on them. From what I heard, the place is haunted because ghosts travel from the mountain to the sea in that area, and the Belcher's is in their path. Because of how the Belcher's is built (in maze-like circles), the ghosts get trapped there and can't leave. That's why there have been quite a few suicides there, apparently.

DL says it's a fair trade for them to have a nice Wellcome but go crazy because of the ghosts. I guess so.

Anyway, a photograph of the Wellcome. They have such an excellent selection of cheap sake. There's one that's been aged in cedar barrels that is so good that I broke a shoe over it.

I didn't realize that this was up in the ceiling until I took a picture. It's like that mural that Dali made in Teatro Dali (if you're ever in Spain, it's so worth the trip to go there. I've been there so many times, I could be a tour guide for that place. There's a pastry shop just around the corner that you MUST visit, too).

Image taken from lonelyplanet.com

Who knew the year of the Rabbit would bring out the surrealist in people? You can see its influence on the kids who made some rabbit sculptures that were displayed in the lobby.

Alright, this is cute and all that, but isn't it a bit disturbing? The rabbit has candy stuck on it, for God's sake. It's like the house that the witch in Hansel and Gretel, pretending to be some delicious thing and then it'll suddenly pounce on you and eat you.

Ostensibly innocent, but look at THOSE EYES. That pouch is for COLLECTING YOUR SOUL.

Okay, this is just seriously creepy. This is on some Blair Witch Project tip. Jesus, the rabbit has HANDS FOR EYES. This is even creepier than the Corinthian in The Sandman, for God's sake.

Alright, this is all for now, so (belated) happy new year! This Rabbit year is going to be better than the previous one (thank God!), so I hope everyone has a safe and healthy upcoming year!

Getting Around: Transportation Tips, Part II

Ah crap, I totally left out the streetcar and the Star Ferry! Shame on me!

Streetcars (or trams) first. I actually enjoy taking the streetcar and choose it over the bus or MTR whenever I'm not in a rush. If you're heading towards the Hong Kong Jockey Club race course in Happy Valley, it's the best alternative, as well. (By the way, there are races in Happy Valley every Wednesday night and in Sha Tin every Saturday afternoon until July. I've never been to Sha Tin race course, but I've been to Happy Valley a couple of times, and I thought it was fun. I think I only won HKD10, but that wasn't the point. You can buy alcohol and food on the premises and watch the horses pretty much up close. Worth a visit, especially if you just want to drink and be entertained by the people around you, not to mention the horses.)

Streetcars are quite clean, and it costs HKD2 (yes, super cheap). They accept coins and Octopus cards, and you pay as you exit. Streetcars are not airconditioned, by the way. I like them because the passengers are usually quite interesting, and you get to see a lot of Hong Kong.

However, my caveats are: when it's crowded, streetcars are horrible. They're really not comfortable to stand in. The other caveat is the second floor of the streetcar. I used to love sitting at the back of the second floor and resting my head on the window sill and gazing up at the sky. Then, one day, some homeless dude peed himself a few seats away from me, and I've never gone back. Of course, that's my experience. If it doesn't smell like pee or look wet, by all means, go ahead and sit. I just feel like it's safer on the bottom. I know for sure no one wearing pee-soaked trousers has put his ass on the benches there.

Now, for the Star Ferry. The Star Ferry goes from Tsim Sha Tsui to Central and back. There are other ferries (to Hung Hom and Wan Chai), but the TST and Central one is the most popular route. I love the Star Ferry, and I usually take it whenever I'm going to TST. The fare is HKD2.5, also very cheap.

It affords you a wonderful view of the Central skyline, as well. I suggest taking the Star Ferry in the evening for maximum prettiness. I believe the last ferry is at 11 at night, though.

The Tsim Sha Tsui Star Ferry pier is outside of Harbour City, and the Central Star Ferry pier is about 10 minutes away from IFC Mall. You'll have to exit the mall where the CitySuper supermarket is, take the escalator down to street level and keep walking towards the piers. There are a bunch of them for different ferries for different islands. Keep going till you see the Star Ferry one, I believe it's number 7.

I miss the old Star Ferry pier in all its ghettoness, although I always feel itchy whenever I reach that part of Central.


Now, some other notes:

A few people have asked about the "Hop On, Hop Off" open-air bus tours in Hong Kong. Honestly, I think they're not worth it. If you really want to be a tourist and just spend a few minutes at random places, then I guess you could take it and be a lazy piece of shit.

The Peak: even though this is such a touristy place, I think it's really worth visiting, but ONLY AT NIGHT. What's the point of going up there to look at Hong Kong during the day? Also, take the Peak Tram up there rather than a bus or a taxi. The experience is so much more enjoyable, and you will have extra sights to see, such as the interiors of some of the most expensive real estate in the world. I once saw a really hot guy watching television, which was nice. As you're going up the mountain in the tram, sit on the right. When you're heading back down, sit on the left.

I  know some people like to go up the Peak during the day so that they can go hiking. That is so weird to me, but here's information for those of you who want to try this type of shenanigan.

By the way, don't eat at the Peak. Overpriced. However, if you're willing to spend the money, I'd suggest the Peak Lookout simply because of the view (again, go at night). The Peak Lookout is where the Peak Cafe, known for shitty food but a spectacular wine list and view, used to be. If you'll allow me to reminisce: a long time ago, my siblings and I went to the Peak Cafe when it was still on the Peak for a nice winter dinner. We managed to witness a couple on a romantic date and nearly fell off the mountain laughing our asses off because the dude was eating his salad like a donkey. I'd have to demonstrate in person, but it was damn funny.

Getting Around: Transportation Tips

I've been putting off writing this entry because it's so much easier to just post up pictures and write rubbish to go along with it. However, I can't in good conscience not write about transportation in Hong Kong.

There's nothing to fear, Hong Kong has arguably the best transportation system in the world. It's cheap, efficient and safe. Once you've enjoyed it, you'll be so spoiled that every other primitive transportation system, like the ones in North America, will cause depression.

Let's start at the airport. I used to edit books, and one of them was on Hong Kong architecture, which means I know a lot of useless trivia about the airport, which was designed by Norman Foster (who also did the HSBC headquarters, another building with some great gossip). For example, the roof of the airport can be seen from space. It's the only airport in the world with its own internal railroad. The amount of natural light coming in from the glass windows means that it's also one of the most environmentally-friendly airports ever.

In my opinion, it's the best airport in the world. Despite the high traffic it sees everyday, it never feels crowded or disgusting. You can rent little rooms to sleep in if you've got a layover, and there are masseuses wandering around to help you. There's free phones as soon as you exit customs, as well.

The airport has a really good bus system -- I was surprised to find out that one route actually stops just fifteen minutes from my flat -- but if you're visiting Hong Kong for the first time, I suggest that you take the Airport Express. You can buy a roundtrip ticket at the airport or use an Octopus card to pay (I'll discuss the Octopus more later). Among its stops, the Airport Express will take you to Kowloon and Hong Kong stations. The Airport Express Hong Kong Station is linked to Central MTR Station, Kowloon Station is just a pain in the ass because it's not linked to any of the more useful MTR Stations. However, it does have a fancy mall where you can go ice skating.

Anyway, there are free shuttle buses at Hong Kong and Kowloon Stations that will take you to your hotel (or nearby). The list of hotels and bus routes is very prominently displayed and in English and traditional Chinese.

Using the Airport Express entitles you to do early check-in. Some airlines allow you to check in up to seven hours before your flight, so it's really convenient if you want to squeeze in a last-minute meal or shopping excursion. If you miss out on early check-in or if your airline doesn't do it, you can follow what I do. I tend to cut it really close when I check in the airport. The Airport Express takes about 24 minutes from Hong Kong Station. Say that you wait on the platform for 10 minutes, so the whole journey is about 35 minutes. A quick walk to the check-in desks should be about 5 minutes at the most (including looking for your airline). That's 40 minutes. Most desks will close 50 minutes before departure. So basically, what I do is try to time everything so that I arrive 5 minutes before the desk closes.

Now, for getting around the city. Your best bet, if you don't speak Cantonese and can't read Chinese, is to take the MTR. The MTR is our subway, and it's the cleanest, safest and most efficient subway system in the world.

Hong Kong is divided into three sections: Hong Kong island, Kowloon peninsula and the New Territories, which is pretty much in the mainland. The MTR services all of these areas, and there are handy maps that point out hotels, tourist attractions and government buildings and schools in most MTR stations.

You can pay as you go on the MTR, which means buying a ticket for each journey from one of the ticket dispensers. It's not the same price for each journey, and once you've entered the paid area of the MTR, even if you exit through the same station, you'll still have to pay a little bit (I think it's about HKD2 or HKD3). Some machines will give you change from bills, so watch out for those if you don't have any coins on you. You can also use an Octopus card to pay.

The turnstiles only accept tickets or Octopus cards. You slide the ticket into the slot on the turnstile -- on your right, by the way. Just follow the gigantic arrows, which, for some reason, many tourists seem to ignore -- and don't forget to take it when it comes out the other end.

Important MTR information:

1) DO NOT EAT OR DRINK ON THE MTR AND IN THE PAID AREAS OF THE MTR STATIONS. Dudes, Hong Kong people are really law-abiding, and we don't do that bullshit on the MTR because we want to keep our stations clean and free of rats and cockroaches. You're enjoying the fruit of our responsibility, so please have the fucking decency to also keep the MTR clean.

I don't care how fucking hungry you are, I will give you the side-eye and rat you out to the MTR staff if I see you eating or drinking. The penalty is something like HKD2,000, and I will laugh as they take that money from you. Yes, it's true that a few locals also break these rules, tsk on those motherfuckers. You're welcome to tsk them, as well.

2) There are panic buttons in the train (I forget exactly where) and along the platforms. If you feel sick or if someone has tried to molest you, pressing the panic button gets you either a cop or an MTR employee within five minutes or less.

3) I will admit that there is occasionally a courtesy problem in the trains, with some people not having the decency to move aside when you need to exit. Just say "Excuse me" really loudly and push yourself out. If they're rude, you can be rude, too, in my opinion. But then, I'm a shover when I get irritated.

4) If you want to kill yourself, you won't be able to do it on the MTR lines in Hong Kong and Kowloon, as there are safety doors installed there. You'll have to go to the New Territories if you want to suicide by train.

5) Please, please don't buy shit from illegal vendors in the stations. Please don't give money to the beggars there. You can do that outside. Encouraging them to linger in the station is dangerous, especially if they're there during rush hour.

6) There is a Hang Seng Bank in every MTR station, as well as a 7-11.

7) If you have a large suitcase, for fuck's sake, please take the Goddamn elevator and don't clog up the escalators!

8) Mong Kok, Jordan and Yau Ma Tei Stations smell like vomit. It's been like that since I was a kid, I have no idea why.

9) MTR stations do not run for 24 hours. The last trains are usually around half past midnight. A cute piece of trivia: after the last train for passengers, the trains go around the tracks one more time to bring home ghosts. Isn't that so thoughtful? I heard that there are also ghost buses that do the same thing, but no one has confirmed that with me.

And a very important escalator tip: STAND ON THE RIGHT, WALK ON THE LEFT! Don't stand on the left side of the escalator like a retard. People will start grumbling behind you, or, if you're unlucky enough to have someone like me there, you'll get a huge sigh and "TSK" and then be asked to move your ass aside. If you don't move, I will shove you, and the cops will be on my side, so don't even try to sass me. This goes for escalators everywhere, by the way.

Aside from the MTR, the buses are super great. I'm kind of hesitant to recommend them to tourists unless you already know the route number or are really adventurous. You can check out the Web sites of our two bus lines here: KMB and Citybus. They're really useful and show you alternate routes, a map that includes street-level photos of the stops.

Bus information and tips:

1) Technically, you're not allowed to eat or drink on the buses, but no one really cares (including me).

2) Buses accept Octopus cards and change. You must have exact change. I've asked fellow passengers to break bills for me, and I've always gotten a few nice people who've helped me out. Mr. Singh, I'll always remember you fondly for giving me HKD2 and not wanting the lollipop I found in my bag in return. It was a fancy Chupa Chup, too.

3) Personally, I like to sit on the second floor of the bus, right at the very front. It's quite exciting because bus drivers like to drive up close to cars and buses. Plus, you can take nice pictures.

4) If you have luggage or anything large with you, for God's sake, just leave it at the space for wheelchairs (assuming there isn't a wheelchair there). Don't fucking leave it in the aisle! There was this horrible expat woman who had this giant suitcase right in the middle of the aisle once, and I got so irritated seeing crippled grannies trying to climb over the suitcase that I yelled at her to move that shit aside. I realize I'm coming off as an obnoxious, aggressive busybody, and, yes, I am one.

5) Lost items: this also applies to the MTR, by the way. Hong Kong people are generally honest, and if you lose something on the bus or MTR, chances are that someone will turn it in to the staff. I dropped my wallet on the bus once, and I got it back with everything inside in three days. I tried to give a thank-you card to the bus driver, but the KMB people wouldn't let me because it's considered "bribery." So cute, no? So I just anonymously mailed it to the KMB office. Hope they forwarded it to him.

This is the KMB hotline, it's 24 hours: 2329 8508. Citybus: 2873 0818.

Okay, now for minibuses. This is some hardcore stuff, even I get intimidated sometimes, and if you can't speak Cantonese, I really don't think you should attempt it unless you kind of know where you're going and what it looks like.

Minibuses technically have stops, but you can get off along the way at any point. Aish, there's no point in even explaining, except that you pay as you get on, and the driver will give you change if necessary. They also accept Octopus cards.

Now, what is this Octopus card that I keep talking about? It's a true marvel and a sign of our advanced civilization. It's basically a smart card that stores cash value. Anyone staying in Hong Kong for more than a couple of days really ought to get one. You pay HKD50 for the card -- this is refundable when you return the card. You won't be able to use that HKD50 so you'll have to top up in increments of HKD50. That initial HKD50 is like a buffer because even if you only have HKD1 left in available credit, you can still use up to HKD35 for one purchase (ie. you'll go negative value on the card). If you're at 0, you can't go negative. Did that make sense?

Anyway, the Octopus is accepted on all types of transportation, at all supermarkets and convenience stores, at most fast food restaurants and many other places. You can add value to it at any convenience store or at any MTR station. You can also link it to your credit card, but if you're just visiting, there's kind of no point.

It's amazingly convenient and brilliant. The card is scanned, rather than inserted into anything, and the scanners are strong enough that you don't have to take the card out of your wallet or bag.

There is something called the Octopus Airport Express Pass, and it's something like HKD300 and you get "unlimited travel" for three days. Honestly, I don't think it's worth it unless you plan on taking the MTR every other hour. Just get an Airport Express ticket and an Octopus separately. The Octopus is refundable anyway, so it's not a big deal.

Finally, taxis. They're super cheap, meters start at HKD18. Now, something that you should know: taxis usually will only take you around the area you're in, ie. Hong Kong island only, Kowloon only or New Territories only. If you want to cross the harbour to a different area, you have to take a special taxi. These ones have a red plastic sign on their dashboard to indicate that they are willing to go where normal taxis won't.

If you forget your stuff in the taxi, you can call 1872920 to get the dispatchers to send out a message. One thing you should always do when you take a taxi is read and remember the name of the taxi driver. His identification should be prominently displayed on the dashboard, and it will help you a lot if you do leave anything behind. As long as the next passenger hasn't stolen your stuff, taxi drivers will always return them.

Whew, okay, I'm tired and this should be enough basic information for getting around. If I think of anything else, I'll write another entry.

坤記煲仔小菜

Is it just me, or is this kind of a weird name for a restaurant? 坤記 sort of means...feminine/earth memory, doesn't it? Or does it mean something else that I don't know about?

Anyway, this place always has queues, so my friend and I decided to pop over quite early, at about six thirty. We still had to wait for about fifteen minutes for a table, during which time, my friend scolded me for being so high-strung because every time someone got up from a table, I would react.

The thing is, I'm so used to being the responsible person who takes clueless, lazy or passive people around that it's hard for me to relax and let someone else handle shit. It's weird, you know, I do want to be able to just let other people take care of business, but when it actually happens, I get really antsy.

Anyway, this place specializes in 煲仔, which is...what IS this in English? Pot rice? It's rice cooked in an earthenware pot with toppings like meat, vegetables, mushrooms, and so on. They also offer hotpot.

Man, look at the sad auntie waiting for a table. I feel you, auntie! In the end, we got to sit where those two dudes are on the left, just under the window.

This place gives you a bowl to wash the dishes and utensils in, which is good. You'll have to bring your own tissues and stuff like that. In fact, if you're traveling in Hong Kong, it's best to have a pack of tissues or wet wipes with you at all times, just in case.

坤記 lets you choose a standard dish and add on extra toppings like salty fish, egg, veggies, etc. If you are confident enough, you can actually customize a dish off-menu if you sweet-talk the auntie taking your order.

This is what 煲仔 looks like. My friend got beef and poached egg. The dish comes with a bowl of sauce which you pour into the rice and mix it up.

I got...is it called soy goose in English? Anyway, that and spare ribs and veggies. This is what my pot looked like pre-sauce.

My friend pouring the sauce in.

I think I was so excited that I couldn't focus properly.

Itadakimasu!

Hong Kong Bakeries

One of the pleasures of wandering around in Hong Kong is being able to just pop into any of its ubiquitous bakeries for a hot snack. There are the big chains like Maxim's, St. Honore's and Arome, but I prefer the little mom and pop bakeries because I'm such a snob.

The big chains have their own appeal, they will stock more adventurous types of buns, or buns that are too difficult or too expensive for the small bakeries to produce. I love the pineapple buns with barbecued pork filling from the Taste supermarket bakeries, for example. However, if you read Raj Patel's Stuffed and Starved, you'll understand the importance of supporting small businesses. It's not just good for them, but good for everyone. And read the book, it's simply marvelous, and Raj Patel is a damn prophet.

Anyway, to return to the topic of this entry, I thought I'd take some photos to explain what the different buns are, and to also explain some important etiquette issues.

When you enter a bakery, you will notice tongs and trays by the door. Pick a tray and a pair of tongs up because bakeries are self-serve. I hate it when expats (why are these people so fucking rude?) and tourists come in and demand to be served. Bitch, you blind or just retarded?!

The buns are all in display cases, which may be left open or closed. Either way, if you have to sneeze, close the damn displays! Otherwise, the auntie will come and yell at you.

Anyway, plain loaves on the left, multigrain "healthy" buns on the right.

From left to right: pork fluff buns, ham and salad dressing buns and buttercream buns.

Ham and egg buns, Spam with egg bun, bread with tuna filling.

Plain pineapple buns on the left. Now, these are called pineapple buns because of their appearance (the top looks like the skin of a pineapple), NOT because they are pineapple-flavoured. They simply taste buttery, and the top part is crumbly and sweet, like an apple crumble.

Some people like to squish the bun flat before eating it to prevent the crumbly bits from falling off, but I really dislike eating it like that. I like to bite into the fluffiness, you know? So what I personally like to do is eat the edges of the bun first to catch all the bits that might fall and work my way into the centre. If you have your own foolproof pineapple bun-eating method, please do let me know.

On the right are raisin buns.

I'm trying to remember what the leftmost bread is. I think it's just plain buns. Next is barbecued pork bun (delicious, you can never go wrong with this choice), sausage and cheese bun and pineapple bun with red bean filling.

According to the names, from left to right:
Sweet dinner rolls, cheese mini-loaf, crab salad bun, and coconut bread. I like the sweet dinner rolls (it's not really that sweet) with a nice cup of tea. The cheese bread is okay, but it's only got cheese on the top of the bread.

Hotdog buns on the left, ham and cheese (warning, these may contain mayonnaise, ugh!) on the right.

I got a barbecued pork bun. Here it is with a big bite out of it.

Anyway, these bakeries are called Western-style bakeries even though the bread seems quite Chinese in taste. Chinese bakeries sell more traditional snacks, which I will get around to writing about eventually. I'm super busy until the end of next week, but I'll try to keep up the regular posting.

Linva and Mitty Fashion Alteration

I thought about doing two separate entries for Linva and Mitty, but I don't have enough to write so I thought I'd just combine them.

First, let's talk about Linva. Linva is a tailor shop that specializes in 旗袍 or qi pao, also known as cheongsam in Cantonese. I'm just going to refer to it as qi pao because I speak Mandarin much better than Cantonese.

Linva was responsible for those gorgeous qi pao that Maggie Cheung wore in In the Mood for Love. They cut it in a very ladylike way, either full-length or ending below the knee. However, it's very expensive to get qi pao tailored there, I have to admit. I brought in my own vintage fabric from the 1960s that my mother had saved and given to me, and the tailoring alone cost just under HKD3,000. So much for my dream of having a collection of qi pao to wear every day.

Linva is at 38 Cochrane Street in Central.

As you can see, Linva also does a traditional Manchurian-style top. I really should save money to have another qi pao made. And a men's cheongsam, too. I once watched a Jay Chou video where some guy had this really gorgeous white suit with red dragons embroidered on the sleeves. I'd love to have a white men's cheongsam with red dragons and phoenixes up the arms, too.

Now, Mitty. Mitty is simply the best alteration place in Hong Kong. I buy a lot of vintage clothes, and so I'm always there for alterations. Prices are reasonable and the workmanship is excellent.

However, I do have some advice for people:

1. Mitty does not make clothes. They are not a tailor, so don't waste your time trying to convince them to make something for you. It's simply rude. I've witnessed expats doing this and getting worked up and yelling at the staff. Animals.

2. Don't try to jump the fucking queue! Again, I always see expats doing this! It takes about a week to get your stuff back, and I really hate it when expats, using the most arrogant English they can muster up, start shouting about how urgent their clothes are and how they know the owner. We all fucking know the owner, so shut the fuck up! If you want your clothes finished sooner, go somewhere else!

3. The staff at Mitty are super great and honest. If you have any body insecurities or have low self-esteem, I suggest not going. They will tell you exactly why your clothes don't fit properly, and will explain to you how they can compensate for your lack of or overabundance of fats. If your feelings are easily hurt, and if you're stubborn and dumb enough to argue about what YOU think should be done, don't bother going. The best thing to do is just tell them that you'd like your piece of clothing to fit better (looser, tighter, etc.) and let them handle it. If they tell you that they can't do anything about it, then just take the loss and move on.

Mitty is at 74 Welllington Street in Central, on the 5th floor. This is what the foyer looks like. Kind of looks like a horror movie, I know.

Now, to show the combined efforts of Linva and Mitty. I'm so sorry for the crappy photograph, and  pardon the mess on the table, especially the giant wad of tissues. I had allergies because I reorganized my clothes for winter. I'm just not meant for household drudgery. I need a wife.

Side slit.

Look at how wonderful the tailoring is. The two matched flowers on the collar (which I didn't bother doing up, sorry), gorgeous!

Yes, unfortunately, those are lucite heels. But in my defence, they are Gucci lucite heels. Or does that make it worse? Note the hot pink lining of the dress.

Now, for some important qi pao tips. 

1. Fit: I admit that I like my clothes to be on the tight side, especially around the waist. Maybe I'm just skanky but it's also because I'm not exactly thin, so I prefer not to add excess fabric anywhere that could make me look even bigger. 

However, with the qi pao, you have to remember that, unless you're having one made with a stretch fabric, which is kind of a hideously tacky idea, there is no way sifu will agree to cut it skin-tight because you won't be able to move properly. Trust me, I've asked and all I got for my presumption was a lecture on modesty.

When I got my qi pao altered at Mitty (I had it made a few years ago and lost weight since then, yay!), I tentatively suggested making everything a lot tighter, only to be tsked and asked, "Do you want to be able to sit down when you wear this dress?"

2. Frogs: Frogs are the fabric-covered clasps that will be added to your qi pao. Please, I ask you, follow sifu's advice on which frogs to use because he will know what is best for the style and colour/pattern of the dress. But as a rule of thumb, the busier the pattern on your fabric is, the simpler the frog should be. If you have a plain lace or satin qi pao, then by all means, go for a phoenix frog or something. 

3. Side slit: Mid-thigh for both full-length and below-the-knee qi pao. Higher than that, the back of the skirt will be fluttering in the wind like a banner. Lower than that, you won't be able to walk. 

4. At the fitting, wear the shoes (or similar height) and underwear (especially bra) that you will most likely wear whenever you put on your qi pao. This is really important. Stand with good posture while you're being measured!

5. Wearing a qi pao: look, you just have to accept that a qi pao is not the most comfortable of things. And please don't assume that Chinese culture is misogynistic because qi pao as they are now are actually a Westernization of the Manchurian traditional dress. 

I don't usually wear flat shoes, anyway, but I can't imagine walking in a qi pao without some kind of heel. In a properly-tailored qi pao, you have to walk like a lady, with one foot in front of the other, rather than clomping along. Forget about bending down to pick something up. Either the skirt will hobble you or the collar will choke you. If you drop anything, just glare at the nearest guy and say, "WELL????? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR???"

With that in mind, I also suggest putting your stockings (if necessary) and shoes on before you put your qi pao on. 

6. Sitting down and getting back up: My trick for sitting in a qi pao is to cross my legs before I sit down, then gracefully perching on one buttcheek. Once my buttcheek is secure, I discreetly adjust the qi pao to allow the other buttcheek to land. By the way, as you're bending to sit, don't stick your butt out because that can strain and tear the fabric. 

To get back on my feet, I usually wait until someone I know is passing by and then I demurely whisper, "Yo, grab my elbow and help me up, willya?" If no one is nearby, I kind of slide out of the seat one buttcheek at a time. Once the first buttcheek is clear, I uncross my legs and stand up. This is all done with the maximum of grace and elegance, by the way.

7. Accessories and styling: I quite like a fur shrug, as you can imagine, but a qi pao just calls for some fabulous earrings and bracelets. Necklaces are pointless, unless you wear them outside the collar, and I only suggest this for qi pao with plainer fabrics. 

For hair, I like big updos with a qi pao. If you have the right hair length, finger waves also look lovely. I'm not too fond of long hair hanging down while wearing a qi pao, although, I suppose that depends on the hairstyle. It's just that it can look disheveled very easily, and a qi pao is all about looking ladylike and elegant. 

Hong Kong Film Archive, Part 2

Oops, I ended up watching North by Northwest on Saturday rather than Vertigo, which I watched yesterday afternoon instead. Couldn't get tickets to Psycho. I really enjoyed both movies. North by Northwest was extremely charming, and Vertigo is so much better on the big screen. Hitchcock's pacing is so good, I was really tense all throughout Vertigo even though I knew what was coming.

Anyway, on Saturday night, after the screening, I found that there were all these lovely youths hanging out at the plaza next to the Film Archive and dancing. (I should mention that Sai Wan Ho has a youth centre over at Holy Cross Path, which I shall write about some time. They often have music shows there, where I once saw the MOST BEAUTIFUL teenager. It was hard not to stare at him. However, I had to keep my eyes elsewhere because I didn't want to end up on To Catch a Predator saying "I'm sorry" and eating a cookie.)

I asked one of the girls if they were practising for some kind of school competition, and she said that they just liked to meet up there and dance. Isn't that great?

These were breakdancers. I couldn't get a decent shot, unfortunately.

Ugh, flash went off by accident. Awful picture, sorry.

I wore that fringed leather shawl collar thing that I got at DNA Galleria. It was just under HKD250, again, I think a very reasonable price considering how versatile it is!

One of the things I forgot to mention previously is that sales people can get pushy in Hong Kong as most of them work on commission. Just simply thank them or smile and say that you can handle things on your own, and most will back off. I have to say, though, that sometimes, I take a look at the suggestions that sales people give. I tend to gravitate towards the clothing and shoes that I have always liked, but I try to keep an open mind because you never know which item you would never have considered before might end up being a much-loved and much-worn possession, right?

Some of my most beloved accessories or pieces of clothing were suggestions made to me by sales people, items that I would never have looked at in the first place. This fringed collar is one of them. I would never have looked at it if the sales chick didn't thrust it in my hands. And now I really love it. It's simply amazing over sheer blouses and dresses. Since I have no boobs, I don't have to wear a bra and I can still preserve my modesty. And the collar's look can go from hard-edged to almost cowboy-ish.

Here, it's a bit on the cowboy side with a denim skirt and a vintage sheer blouse I stole from my mother (she has the sexiest clothing, I'm not sure if I could walk around with some of her things without getting stopped by the police).

I know this picture is weird because I just took it in some random doorway. Yes, that's my bottles of sake that I was drinking on the way home. Here's another tip: you can drink alcohol in public in Hong Kong. It's particularly refreshing to walk around with cold sake in the summer.

And here's a picture I took of Chabi on the living room daybed when I got home. She was irritated because I woke her up from her beauty sleep, that spoiled salbahe cat.